• TEENAGE WAIST LAND
  Monday, October 6, 2008
• Ever taken a teenager shopping? A teenage boy? It's not for the faint of heart and the short of patience. It requires the finesse of a diplomat, given that the teenager a) needs clothes but b) hates shopping and c) doesn't like anything he sees. And of course anything YOU like is automatically dismissed as bring "gross" or "are you kidding?" He needs dark boot cut jeans, but not those, not those, and certainly not those. Furthermore, they must be huge, and sit as low as possible on the hips, as witnessed by the 10 foot poster of a male torso on the wall of Abercrombie & Fitch. Shirts, on the other hand, must fit snugly, and come in shades of blue, gray, charcoal, light gray, blue-gray and maybe white. Red is for kids, and anything else is gay. There's no point in objecting, or voicing an opinion, because you are strictly The Wallet. In fact, shopping with your mother is just an exercise in humiliation, especially if you run into anyone you know. Which of course we did - a kid from Aidan's hockey team. I started to make myself scarce, but it was cool, because he was out with HIS mother. Kind of like running into someone you know at an adult film theatre. Or so I imagine.
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